


Parent Directory

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3845419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dinesh prepares for a visit from his parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dinesh walked into the home offices at the house and hovered around the table for a bit until everyone was staring at him, wondering what he wanted.

  
“Hey, guys, no big deal, but any chance that on your trip to Seattle this weekend you might need Gilfoyle or…”

  
“I don’t think there’s any reason we’d need Gilfoyle to meet with investors,” Richard said.

  
“Yeah, I don’t even like letting these guys meet with investors,” Erlich said, gesturing between Richard and Jared.

  
“Well, maybe there’s, like, programming you need done that he can’t do remotely,” Dinesh suggested.

  
“What?” Richard asked. “What’s going on, man? Are you and Gilfoyle, like, fighting?”

  
“No. Things are going really well, actually…which is way weirder,” he said, frowning. “It’s just…okay, well, I told my parents that you were all going to Seattle and before I could stop them, they put it together that this meant I had some extra space and…they’re visiting. So, it’s already bad enough that they’re going to see that the potential billion dollar company I’ve been talking about is this shitty house, I really don’t need them meeting Gilfoyle on top of that.”

  
“Have you told them about Gilfoyle at all?” Richard asked.

  
“Yeah. I told them about Gilfoyle because I wanted to give my parents the worst news they could possibly hear. I thought that would be fun for kicks,” Dinesh said, glaring at Richard.

  
“I guess we can try and convince him to come on the trip,” Richard said.

  
“I think the worst news would be that you’d died,” Jared said.

  
“Getting fucked by Gilfoyle is up there though,” Erlich agreed. “But, can’t you just tell him to lie.”

  
“That’s a good idea. He loves lying,” Jared said.

  
“Yeah, not when someone’s told him to. I can’t exactly tell Gilfoyle what to do,” he said. He smiled hopefully and said, “Hey, but maybe you can. You are his boss. Can you just threaten to fire him if he ruins my life?”

  
“We’ll just talk to him,” Richard said.

 

 

 

“Hey, man,” Richard said, sitting down by Gilfoyle and trying to look casual. “Do you want to come with us to Seattle?”

  
“No,” Gilfoyle said without looking up from his computer.

  
“We could really use you, man,” Richard said.

  
“What could you possibly need me for? Aren’t you going to be at fancy meetings all weekend? I don’t even own a collared shirt.”

  
“Well…” Richard tried to come up with something and looked to Erlich for help.

  
“We need to increase the number of alpha males there if we’re going to convince them we’re a force to be reckoned with. Besides me, it’s just a bunch of pussies.”

  
“Sorry, but all of you guys are going to be gone, so me and Dinesh are going to be fucking even more. And in even more places.”

  
“Yeah…I don’t think that’s going to be happening,” Erlich told him.

  
Gilfoyle looked up for the first time. “…why?”

 

 

 

Dinesh was sitting on his bed, trying to eavesdrop when Gilfoyle walked in and sat down next to him.

  
“Want to tell me anything?” Gilfoyle asked.

  
“Seattle is lovely this time of year?” Dinesh ventured. Gilfoyle crossed his arms and waited. “My parents are visiting and I just don’t think you should be here for that.”

  
“Why not? I’m charming,” Gilfoyle deadpanned.

  
“Please be serious. We’re talking about my parents,” he said.

  
“Why would they not love me? I mean, you’re fucking 30. Their standards for who you end up with are probably pretty low by now.”

  
“Okay, let’s brainstorm some reasons you might not be their ideal mate for their only son. Instead of a woman, you’re a guy. Instead of being Muslim, you’re a fucking Satanist.”

  
“Is that it? That’s two reasons. That’s not even a pattern.”

  
“The third reason is your entire personality!” he said.

  
“I let you meet my parents,” Gilfoyle said.

  
“That’s different. You hate your parents,” he said.

  
“You don’t hate your parents? You probably should,” Gilfoyle said.

  
“Why would you say that? You don’t even know them.”

  
“Well, people don’t just end up with a guy like me because their parents did everything right.”

  
Dinesh stared at him. “That’s your logic? That’s what you’re going with?” As he stood up to leave the room, he said, “I’ll just come up with some reason they can’t visit. Tell them I have some contagious disease or something.”

  
As Dinesh reached the door, Gilfoyle asked, “You’d really make them cancel their visit just because I don’t want to leave the state while they’re here?”

  
“What else could I do? You’re giving me no choice.”

  
“Letting your parents meet me is that unthinkable to you?”

  
“I– yeah…you’re…you know, you’re Gilfoyle…that’s, like…your thing…you’re not someone anyone would take home to their parents…”

  
“I love you,” Gilfoyle told him. “I don’t want to do anything to hurt you. If you’re not ready for your parents to know that I’m your boyfriend, then fine, but I’d at least like you to be able to deal with the thought of me being in the same room as them.”

  
“I guess I can see how my actions may have hurt your feelings a little bit,” he admitted.

  
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care,” Gilfoyle said automatically. “But, out of curiosity, do you imagine this being something you can keep from your parents forever?”

  
“I don’t know…” Dinesh said.

  
“Because, you know…what if we end up, like…married with kids or something? Then they’d have to find out.”

  
Dinesh hesitated. “…I’d never thought about that possibility.”

  
“Okay,” Gilfoyle said.

  
“Okay? What does that mean?”

  
“If you don’t want them to ever find out about this, then it makes sense for me to not be here when they visit. I’ll go away for the weekend.”

  
“Okay,” Dinesh said.

  
Gilfoyle started packing a bag and Dinesh watched him nervously. Gilfoyle looked up. “This is what you wanted, right?”

  
“You know it’s nothing personal, right? I’ve never imagined myself marrying anyone.”

  
“Nice try, but if you’ll remember back about five seconds you said something along the lines of ‘you’re Gilfoyle, that’s your thing.’ Is that not personal?” Dinesh cringed. “Look, babe, I’m not mad. You can want whatever you want from this relationship and I can’t make you want more.” He saw that Dinesh still looked miserable and petted him. “So, don’t feel bad. Guilt is a terrible emotion. It’s a fucking waste of human energy.”

  
“I love you,” Dinesh said.

  
“That’s good,” Gilfoyle said, kissing him lovingly. “That’s really good to hear. I love you too.”

  
“I guess…you can meet my parents,” Dinesh said. “And if you don’t…”

  
“Act like myself,” Gilfoyle filled in.

  
“You said it, not me. Anyway, let’s just say that you can meet them and I’ll think about whether or not I’m ready to tell them I have a boyfriend.”

  
“Sounds like a deal,” Gilfoyle said. He kissed him and when he pulled away, he saw that Dinesh was grinning. “What’s wrong with you?”

  
“Exactly how often do you picture marrying me?”

  
“That was just one example of one thing that could happen that would make them find out. I know relatives love checking Facebook. If you got married, they’d see. That was the first time I’d thought about it.”

  
“Mmhmm. Sure,” Dinesh said.

  
“Stop smirking. It’s weird,” Gilfoyle said.

  
“You could distract my mouth,” Dinesh suggested. Gilfoyle pulled him in and kissed him roughly.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilfoyle meets Dinesh's parents and reveals the truth about their relationship.

Gilfoyle watched as Dinesh combed over the house carefully, tidying everything up.

  
“Can your parents always be about to visit? All this cleaning up is kind of doing it for me,” Gilfoyle said. “Although without a cute little maid’s outfit to really sell it...” He moved behind Dinesh and felt his ass. “Let’s bang it out one more time before they get here.”

  
“That’s what we did this morning,” Dinesh reminded him.

  
“One more time,” he said, squeezing his ass.

  
“No thanks,” Dinesh said as he lifted up one of the couch cushions.

  
“You really think they’re going to care if there’s some mess under the couch cushions?” Gilfoyle asked him.

  
“I’m not just cleaning,” Dinesh said.

  
“What else are you doing?”

  
Dinesh turned and looked at him.

  
“You’re also glaring at me,” he said. “...and worrying too much...and refusing to have sex with me even though you love cock and your parents aren’t going to be here for a long time...how many more guesses do I get?”

  
“I’m trying to find all the drugs you’ve hidden,” Dinesh told him. “Want to make it easier for me?”

  
“Why do you say all the drugs I’ve hidden, all accusatory?” he asked. “Erlich’s hidden more drugs in this house than me.”

  
“Fair point,” Dinesh admitted. “I just don’t want them to find anything bad about you. You know, I want them to like you. Because someday I might want to tell them about us.”

  
“That’s sweet, babe. Don’t worry. Even if they find my drugs, I’ll lie about whose they are. I want them to like me too.”

  
“You do?”

  
“Yeah. As amazing as I am at pissing parents off-- and I really, really am, if you ever do want to go that route, just let me know-- I’m willing to expand my horizons and see what winning parents over is like.”

  
“That’s very sweet,” Dinesh said, kissing him. “I can’t imagine what you trying to win someone over could possibly be like. No offense.”

  
Gilfoyle kissed him. “Fine. I’ll save you some time. My drugs are in that Bible on the shelf. It’s hollowed out.”

  
Dinesh rolled his eyes. “Does that make you feel cool?”

  
“So, do you want to fuck now? Since I did the right thing by telling you about the Bible weed?”

  
“Sex isn’t a reward for good behavior,” Dinesh said. “You should know that. You’ve never behaved well and we still do it constantly.”

  
“That’s true,” Gilfoyle said as he kissed down Dinesh’s neck. “Yeah...I don’t give it to you as a reward. I do it when I want to. Because you’re, you know...” He kissed him. “So sexy.”

He sat down and pulled Gilfoyle into his lap. Gilfoyle kissed him hard. “I’m not going to have sex with you right now. They’re going to be here soon.” He slid his hands under Gilfoyle’s shirt to feel his chest. “So, neither of us can take our penises out or anything like that. Let’s just...”

  
“Yeah, agreed,” Gilfoyle said before he started kissing him again.

  
“Dinesh? Are you in there?” his mom asked, knocking all the door.

  
“Shit,” Dinesh said, shoving Gilfoyle off of him.

  
“Dude!” he said, instinctively shoving him back.

  
“It’s unlocked,” Dinesh’s dad said as he pushed the door open.

  
Dinesh jumped to his feet. “We were just wrestling over the TV remote,” he said.

  
“Okay, dear,” Mrs. Chugtai said. “Can you help with my suitcase?”

  
“Yeah, of course, mom,” he said, walking over. “I hope you had a good trip.” He grabbed her bag. “Uh, you two are gonna stay in Richard’s bedroom because it’s the biggest.”

  
He tossed their suitcases in there before returning to the living room.

  
“Richard is one of the guys you work with, right?” Mr. Chugtai asked.

  
“Yeah, he created the--”

  
“And you all live here?” Mrs. Chugtai asked.

  
“Yes, I told you that,” he said.

  
“That doesn’t concern you at all? That none of you is making enough money to pay for your own place to live? That seems like a pretty big red flag.”

  
“Mom, I’ve told you so many times that’s not how it works. I keep explaining our start up’s business model--”

  
“Well, I keep telling you that med school is still an option,” Mr. Chugtai said.

  
“Hey, English is your second language, right? All of you?” Gilfoyle asked.

  
Everyone turned to look at him.

  
“...yeah,” Dinesh said.

  
“So, you all have the option of having this awkward, personal family conversation in a language that I wouldn’t understand at all and are choosing not to? Is that just to make me uncomfortable or...”

  
After a second, Mr. Chugtai laughed. “That’s a good point. I’m Dinesh’s dad.” He extended his hand and Gilfoyle shook it.

  
“Bertram Gilfoyle. Nice to meet you,” he said. “Do you want something to drink? Either of you?”

  
“You’re so polite. Could you get us colas, please?” Mrs. Chugtai asked.

  
“Yeah, of course,” Gilfoyle said, heading to the kitchen.

  
“So, it’s just you and Bertram staying here this weekend?” Mrs. Chugtai asked Dinesh.

  
“Yeah, everyone who’s management is in Seattle talking to investors,” Dinesh said.

  
“Everyone besides you and that man in the kitchen is management?” Mr. Chugtai repeated.

  
“Right now? Yes.”

  
“You work at a company that’s just five people and you’re not in the top three highest ranking people at that company?”

  
“...we also have an intern…”

  
“You were so smart,” Mrs. Chugtai began.

  
“Were? You’re using the past tense to talk about my intelligence now?”

  
“Well, look at where you are in life right now. Is this what you always planned?”

  
“Yes! It is! I am carrying out my exact dream right now because I’m very lucky. I’ve explained that to you,” Dinesh said.

  
Gilfoyle returned and gave them both sodas. “Are you guys talking about the company? We’re so lucky to have shares in it. I mean, think of it this way, someone had to pay Richard-- the guy Dinesh mentioned earlier-- $500,000 for shares, but me and him got a portion just based on our skills and talent.”

  
Dinesh’s parents looked like that was sinking in for the first time. Dinesh rolled his eyes a little since he’d tried to explain all this before.

  
“Couldn’t those kinds of skills get him a real job?” his dad asked.

  
“Well, sure, if he wants to be locked in forever, just making the boss richer and richer instead of having a piece of his own company,” Gilfoyle said.

  
Dinesh’s father nodded a little, first at Gilfoyle and then at Dinesh. Dinesh appreciated the approval although he wished his dad had just listened to him in the first place.

  
“Let’s go eat,” he said. “There’s a great Pakistani place near here.”

 

 

Dinesh led them into Jared’s car. “Is this your car?” his dad asked.

  
“I’m borrowing it actually,” Dinesh murmured.

  
“Yeah, the guy who lent us this car, Jared, he left one of those ‘real jobs’ you were talking about earlier. He was a project manager at Hooli and quit just to be a part of our company.”

  
“Wow,” Mr. Chugtai said thoughtfully.

 

 

“Do you understand the menu, sweetie?” Mrs. Chugtai asked, leaning over to help Gilfoyle.

  
Gilfoyle smiled a little at the motherly attention. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Sorry. What’s the most basic thing on the menu?”

  
She happily helped him. When Dinesh’s parents went to the bathroom to wash their hands, Dinesh told Gilfoyle, “I’ve seen you eat half the stuff on this menu.”

  
“Moms love helpless people. They get to feel useful for once in their goddamn lives,” he said.

  
“I will admit you’re doing a surprisingly good job with them,” Dinesh said. “I’m kind of jealous, actually.”

  
“That’s how parents are. They always like everyone besides their own kid,” he said. “Remember how much my parents liked you?”

  
“Yeah...but that made sense,” Dinesh said. “You’re you.”

  
His parents came back and sat down. “So,” his mom asked. “What else has been happening? Do you have a girlfriend?”

  
“No,” he said.

  
“Well...you...you have time,” his mom said without conviction. “It’s not like you’re 40...quite yet.”

  
“Mmhmm,” Dinesh said.

  
“It might help to not live with a bunch of other guys. I mean, even if this company will pay off eventually, I think women are looking for someone who’s standing on his own two feet now, you know,” he said. “Someone who seems like they could maybe provide at least a little.”

  
“Right,” Dinesh agreed, hoping they were close to dropping it.

  
“Maybe I should set you up!” Mrs. Chugtai suggested.

  
“Mom, who would you set me up with in Palo Alto?”

  
“I’m sure if I put some feelers out I’ll hear about someone who knows someone who’s single,” he said. “And, you know, I’ll just explain that even though you seem very...unique...at first...you have a lot of potential.”

  
“Stop,” Gilfoyle said.

  
“Are you alright?” Mrs. Chugtai asked.

  
“No, don’t talk about Dinesh like he’s some undateable reject,” he said. “He could get a girlfriend if he wanted to.”

  
“Gilfoyle, shut the fuck up,” Dinesh warned.

  
“Dinesh! What is wrong with you? Why are you talking like that?”

  
“I just--”

  
“He doesn’t want me to tell you that I’m his boyfriend but I think that you should know that. You’re talking about him like no one would ever touch him--”

  
“What are you doing?” Dinesh asked.

  
“Boyfriend? What does that mean? You don’t mean..boyfriend?” Dinesh’s mom asked.

  
“No, he doesn’t mean that,” Dinesh said.

  
“Yes, I do. I’m his boyfriend.”

  
“He’s-- Gilfoyle likes lying and saying embarrassing things about people and you should just ignore him,” Dinesh said.

  
“Are you being serious right now?” Gilfoyle asked.

  
“Yes, I don’t appreciate you lying to my parents. I think you should go.”

  
“Fine,” Gilfoyle said. “I’ll just go.”

  
When Gilfoyle was gone, Dinesh told them, “I’m sorry about that. Gilfoyle’s weird. He’s...Canadian, so...”

  
His dad nodded a little.

  
“The thing he said about you being his boyfriend was just...a complete lie?” his mom asked him.

  
“Yeah...I mean...yeah, of course,” Dinesh said.

  
“You’re not gay?” Mrs. Chugtai asked.

  
“Of course he’s not,” Mr. Chugtai said.

  
“It would...make sense,” Mrs. Chugtai said quietly.

  
Dinesh was pretty insulted by that since his feelings for men actually had nothing to do with his inability to get women.

  
“Mom, I’m not gay. You’re being absurd,” he said. He wasn’t good at lying and he frowned at the way his mom was looking at him. His dad looked between the two of them and frowned.

  
Dinesh looked down at his lap and said, “I don’t want to lie to you guys. Gilfoyle is my boyfriend.”

  
“How could you not tell us?” Mrs. Chugtai asked.

  
“It’s very recent,” he said. “And I never expected us to get serious.”

  
“How serious are you?” Mr. Chugtai asked.

Dinesh frowned at the terrifying question.

  
“Well, they’re already living together,” Mrs. Chugtai said. “Do you think you’d want to start a family soon? Give us some grandchildren before you’re forty?”

  
Dinesh looked up. “Would you want me to settle down and start a family...with Gilfoyle?”

  
“It’s a little hard to get used to,” Mr. Chugtai said.

  
“But, if that’s what you want, we just want you to be happy,” Mrs. Chugtai said.

  
Dinesh smiled a little.

  
“And if women can’t appreciate your uniqueness,” she continued.

  
Dinesh sighed and slumped in his chair.


End file.
